Dear job applications,
Hi. I think it’s fair to say we’ve had a strained relationship in the past. Do you remember when we first met? I was a shy 15-year-old, completely unfamiliar with the world of work, who had a minor addiction to shopping in Primark. A habit my mum refused to keep paying for. So, I had to get a job.
It was a healthy relationship of give and take: I’d give you all my info, my best employability characteristics (which I’d taken from Google) and you, in turn, would help me get a job. It was great to begin with. Several interviews were secured. No successful job applications but it still felt good to put myself out there.
But all of a sudden it wasn’t a give and take relationship anymore. It was all take take take. You were taking my dodgy CV full of those positive characteristics like communicative, creative and confident. But really you knew I never believed those things to be true about self. Confident would never be a word used to describe me. Talking to people was scary. Even though one ounce of me did sometimes think I was quite creative, that ounce would always dwindle down when I compared myself to other people. No jobs were ever secured, thanks to you. Instead I had to beg and bargain with managers in emails to secure a job. Successfully I was able to secure a part-time job at a shoe shop.
Now, I’m 21. The joyous time of my life where a job isn’t just an essential for Primark shopping trips but for paying for fun things like bills, taxes, pensions and lifetime ISAs (still not 100% sure what that is). Of course, I am aware of this but I never fail to forget it. The bi-weekly text from mum: “Apply for this job…this is great for you Xoxo”. And the weekly emails with two deadly words as the subject line: Career Opportunities. *burying my head into the pillow* It’s now time for me to get an adult job because measuring children’s feet for school shoes is not my calling.
My free time was spent with you. Writing out ten different job applications to different jobs all over. I think we both felt this time was different. After I wrote one application and then another, I was not only in need of a coffee but I actually started to believe all the things I was writing. Recalling how I’d proven myself in so many different ways in school and in work. Typing out: “Confident professional who has a passionate desire to learn”, I’d think yes I actually am confident and passionate and all the things I used to put on my 15-year-old CV.
It was like you sat me down and had a stern word with me forcing me to believe in myself. It sounds so silly and such a simple thing for people to do but for me it wasn’t, so thank you for that. Never again will I underestimate the power you have, not just for my future but for myself.
Turns out I was wrong. This was a relationship of give and take. You took a girl with absolutely no self-esteem and, after a while, gave her the confidence she needed.
